5/18/07

I am so dumb. No, seriously, I am totally stupid. I'm not sure I'm a Rolex kind of guy. I'm not sure I can pull it off. Oh sure, I've got a “Lotus,” and am a member of the National Lotus Owners Association, but still. Ok, here’s what happened. John and I were not going to the shop after last night after all. What he said to me when he called, the bit I glossed over in my own head by hearing what I wanted to hear, was “are we going to that watch thing?” I had forgotten that we were planning to go to Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry, to look at their Swiss watch “sale.” It wasn’t really a sale but more of a “to-do,” a “fete” if you will. We were met at the door by two security guards, I didn’t notice if they were armed but it wouldn’t surprise me. Once inside, I nice-looking little Oriental girl in an evening gown sidled up and asked if we wanted anything to drink or some food or something. We declined and asked where the Swiss wa… er, timepieces were. She led us over to that section and we began “shopping.” A salesman freed himself up and asked if we needed any assistance. I pointed him to John and they began talking timepieces. They narrowed down the selection to something John was willing to spend and began talking numbers. When it got to the point where I felt uncomfortable knowing too much about John's finances, I walked over to the Rolex counter and started looking for something for me. They finished up and I asked the salesman to show me some of the timepieces I had picked out. Let me say, I apparently have good taste in Rolexes. The one I asked about first, thinking it was a “loss leader” due to (tee hee, doo-doo!) its “plainness,” turned out to be a top of the line Submariner rated to over 1,000 feet depth! It was $27,000.00 as well. We moved on. The “regular” Submariner next to it, with automatic adjusting date feature, was “only” $5,500.00. I said, “For grins, let me see that chronograph model.” He pulled it from the case and I felt its heft. Damn that thing was heavy! It was $35,000.00 or so. John finally asked what the least expensive Rolex was and we were shown the… well I don’t remember what it was called but it cost “only” $3,500.00, 1/10 the price of the chronograph. The salesman looked at a few others and found a stainless and white gold Date Adjust model with a white face and roman numerals for $4,500.00 and declared it “the one to buy.” I don’t remember why it was the deal of the day but he had me “sold,” on the concept at least. He crunched some numbers for the 12 month financing and then looked up the Jared, in store financing. The regular financing would have been $900.00 down and $315.00 a month. I was in such a tizzy that it sounded reasonable. When he looked at the Jared financing it came out to zero down and $235.00 a month for 24 months. That sounded even more reasonable, somehow. He convinced me to let him run my credit. He came back and put that watch back in the case and said, “You need to forget that watch and come back over to the Submariner!” He showed me the credit report and I was stunned. I could indeed “afford” to get the lesser Submariner if it was what I really wanted. Well, I was approved for more than that timepiece cost at least. It was then that John crossed his arms and refused to side either way. He didn’t want to be blamed six months down the road for either talking me into it or out of it. I can’t really blame him. Sales dude went into “hard sell” mode and tried everything he could to get me to do it. I thought about it for quite some time. I almost did it at least twice but finally said, “I have to walk away. I can’t do it.” We left and John pointed out that, after I drop him off, I still had thirty minutes to come back before they close. We stopped and got his family dinner at McDonald’s and I did drop him off. We parted with him saying again, “You have until nine to go back and buy it.” He can be pretty evil sometimes. I left his house and started back to the freeway. “I do not need to buy a $5,500.00 watch,” I kept telling myself. I got on I-35 headed south and kept saying I did not need to go back there. So, I think y'all know where this is going. Of course, you’d be wrong! I did NOT go back and buy a Rolex! I went home, thinking about the bullet I had dodged. I almost called John to tell him, but then I couldn’t set him up with that story. I hope I succeeded in fooling y'all into thinking I had bought it in the end. If not, well then at least I'm a better credit shopper than suspense writer. Oh, what I was going to tell John, had I called him, was that if I was going to drop 5.5 k on something new and European, I'd look into that Ducati Monster Pat was talking about a little while back. I think he said that the under-700 cc bike, they use weird displacements and I don’t remember what size he said it was, cost only $5,000.00 or so new. It got me thinking; I just didn’t realize it at the time. I may not be a Rolex guy, but am I a Ducati guy? We’ll see. And on that note, I think I'll call the rant complete for the week. Oh, I am going to the Motorsport Ranch in the morning with the Seven to do a nut-and-bolt of the car as well as a general tune-up. Perhaps it will be a story worth telling on Monday.