7/16/07

I am dumber than a sack of hammers. And I don’t mean a good burlap sack either; no I'm dumber than a wet paper sack from Kroger full of ten-pound sledgehammers. I think if I were on Jeopardy against a sack of hammers and Paris Hilton, I'd come in second place behind the hammers. Here’s the poop. I made arrangements with that dude in Houston to buy his Locost frame, a Zetec engine, and some suspension bits on Sunday. Well, we made the arrangements on Friday but I was going to go get them on Sunday, but I digress. I also arranged for John to go with me by promising to not use Mr. Wiggly for the trip. Well, this left me in need of a truck to pull my trailer. I called my sister to see if her Expecursiolorer was available. It was. Saturday morning I asked mom if she’d be willing to drive me to Granbury so I could get the truck. She said she would. We headed to Granbury and got the truck. All the way there and all the way back I was thinking that if I'm not willing to trust Mr. Wiggly for a job like this, what good is he, really? I mulled over various ideas and decided I was going to go LOOK AT trucks after I got the trailer back to the house. My thinking was I'd see what a bare bones, fleet special, 5-speed, V6 Ranger would cost and then think about it. I got to the shop and hooked up the trailer. I pulled it forward and dropped the ramps then un-strapped Barbara. I decided that since she didn’t have brakes there was no point in getting in and released the parking brake. Ok, so she has a parking brake but no foot pedal operated hydraulic brakes. I pushed her back and she rolled down the ramps. I had to grab the windshield and give a slight tug to stop her from rolling into Roger’s BMW and the Chickenhawk but I guessed pretty well on the amount of roll I'd get off the trailer. I locked up Barbara and gathered up the straps for the trip. I locked up the shop and went home. I checked with mom to make sure she didn’t need me and headed out to LOOK AT trucks. I got to Texas Motors Ford and was met by a sales dude. I told him, “I’m looking or the cheapest vehicle you have that will tow about 2,500 pounds. Something in the fleet special, rubber mat, vinyl seat, V6 Ranger or F-150 variety.” He asked if it had to be white. I said no and he asked if it had to be new. I said if it were in good enough shape, no. He took me out to the lot and we had a look at some options. The first truck was a gold F-150 extended cab with a V6 and a five-speed. It had 34,000 miles and they wanted $13,000.00 for it. I said, “Maybe.” The next was a dark metallic gray F-150 regular cab with a V6 and five-speed. It was virtually identical to Pat's except darker in color. Oh, it had aftermarket wheels and a billet grille insert thingy as well, neither of which made any impression on me other than to notice their existence. It had 74,000 miles on it so they only wanted $8,000.00 for it. I said, “Possibly.” The final truck he showed me was a lipstick-red Ranger regular cab with a V6 and five-speed. It had 25,000 miles on it, was the nicest of the bunch, and was sort of what I had in mind. Unfortunately, due to (tee hee, doo-doo!) the low miles, they wanted $16,000.00 for it. The price, and the red color, caused me to walk away from that one. I said, “Let’s go back and look at the gray one again.” We talked about it some and decided to take it around the block. It ran really well. I was impressed with the acceleration. Now mind you, the last time I drove Pat's truck it had over 2,500 pounds of trailer behind it so I'm not going to compare the two. We got back and went in to talk numbers. We discussed trading Mr. Wiggly in and they offered me $700.00 sight unseen. They came up with a payment I thought I might be able to live with and then the ball was in my court. I said no matter what happened, I'd have to go get Mr. Wiggly for the trade. I asked how late they’d be there and said I would let them know one way or the other soon. I went home, thinking about it all the way. I told mom the tale, expecting her to veto the idea. I said to her, “All I want is a ‘Yes, that is a good idea,’ or ‘No way in hell are you going to do that’ from you.” She said, “Well, I've always wanted a pickup in the family,” and I knew my fate was sealed. I got back in Matilda and headed towards the shop to get Mr. Wiggly for his final drive. As soon as I started thinking about it though, I realized I had way too much in Mr. Wiggly to just let him be unceremoniously auctioned off and crushed. I turned around and went to the dealership. I walked in and said to the guy, “I've had a change of heart.” His face sank. “I’m not,” I continued, “going to trade the van after all.” His face sank more. Then just about the time he was thinking about gut stabbing me to get his Dr. Pepper back I said, “But mom is on board with the truck idea so I am going to buy it.” He had them rework the papers to delete the trade but magically came back with the same payment. I signed everything and had him follow me home. Mom came out and saw the truck then I took him back to the dealership. I came back home and mom and I went to dinner. I parked in a regular parking place, to mother’s amazement, right up front of the restaurant. As “nice” as it is, this is still going to be the shop whore so dings aren’t going to worry me that much. Mom really likes the truck so I think it will turn out to be a good purchase, even though it was spur of the moment and really dumb. I'll tell the trip to Houston tale tomorrow.