4/7/08

I can’t think of a way to eulogize Charleton Heston so I'll just say, “Pour out a 40 oz of Soylent Malt Liquor for Judah Moses Neville-Thorn-Taylor-Ben-Hur, the Omega Man from the Planet of the Apes.” And now a moment of silence.

Ok, so Saturday I decided to get Shi-Chi inspected so it would be ready if I decide to go to the hill country cruise thing this weekend. I went to the shop and tested out all of the necessary systems for a safety inspection. I even reinstalled the windshield wiper. Everything worked except the turn signals. I decided to give it a try. I drove to the inspection place and pulled in. I asked the dude if he could inspect a 1967 Lotus. He'd inspected it last year so I was pretty confident he would do it again. He said he could. I asked if it needed turn signals and was told it did. I thanked him and got back in to take it back to the shop. Before leaving, I asked how late they were doing inspections. I was told 1700 h. As I turned onto Old Granbury Road I smelled something like “bad pussy.” I knew it to be the smell of radiator stop leak and looked at my temp gauge. Yikes! It was hovering around 275 degrees! I short-shifted up to a pretty good clip, thinking it was a fan issue, but low revs and air speed did not cool it down much. Knowing my motor was just little more than a junkyard replacement I went ahead and drove the four or five miles back to the shop. If it blew up I'd build a badass engine for it, no biggie. I got back to the shop and parked. As I was debating taking the nose cone off to have a look around I heard a funny “Fuuurp” sound every once in a while. I'd heard it the last time I parked the car after a drive but didn’t think much of it at the time. Now I realize it was the cooling system either farting out high pressure air or sucking air back in as it cooled. I decided to go ahead and pull the nose cone. When I grabbed the top tank of the radiator it was warm but not scalding. Ooh, bad sign. I pulled the cap and was not hit in the face with a steam geyser. Ooh, another bad sign. Yep, the radiator was bone dry. I grabbed a coolant bottle and began pouring it in. It took about a gallon before reaching the top of the radiator. Ok, so I really ought to be more diligent. Sue me. I fired the engine up and looked at the gauge. It hovered right at 190 degrees until the engine began to lose revs and try to die. As soon as I turned on the fuel pump it was fine though. Duh. With the cooling system fixed, or so I thought, and the nose cone off, I decided to go ahead and have a look at the turn signals. Earlier I had used the hood as a mirror to look at the various lights as I tried the turn signal switch. The left rear light lit, as did the right front. I'm not 100% sure on the right rear, I think I remember it working. The one I know for sure never lit was the left front. Ok, so I start checking for continuity at various places. I find out which wires do what, yeah I could have looked at my notes but I didn’t, and then start checking for voltage. The power to the switch is really weak so I decide to try an experiment. I finger out which flasher unit is the turn signal and which is for the hazards. I decide to run a jumper wire to bypass the flasher. The lights never provided enough load to fire the flasher anyway so why not? I checked the power to the switch with the jumper in place, I had some voltage now! Guess what, the lights began to work too! Well, all but the left front. Ok, I know all of you have already fingered out what the problem was but I can be a bit of a ‘tard when it comes to diagnosis. I began checking the wiring again. About the time I traced voltage all the way to the lamp socket it hit me. Shall we all say it together? “The lamp was burned out.” Yes, the lamp was burned out. I didn’t have another amber bulb but I did find a clear one with some white overspray on it. Turns out, it is old enough that when lit, it shines amber. I reassembled the lights and tested everything again using the hood as a mirror. Yep, they all work. Well, they don’t flash but they light up when the switch is turned on. I put the car back together and head back to the inspection place. It is 1645 h so I haul ass. I get there and the dude looks at my insurance card. He has me drive the thing around the lot and hit the brakes. I pull into the bay and he has me run all the lights. He does the computer work and puts my new sticker on. I pay and head out for a hoon. An hour or so later I pull back into the shop and park. I notice a splash of what looks like muddy water on the windshield. When I open the hood to remove the main fuse I see that it is coolant. I decide to not mess with it then. I'd look at it Sunday, which is a story I'll tell tomorrow. So, on that note I'll finish by saying, “SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!”