6/17/08

John has about a gabillion e-mails in his inbox I'm sure. At least half of them are from me. I sent “updates” on the status of the trip as we went along from my Dingleberry to his home e-mail. So, since he’s going to post those individual e-mails up as a rant, I'm not going to give a blow by blow report of the trip. I will tell little stories about the trip as they occur to me though. I think I'll start with one of the last things that happened since it is the freshest in my mind. About fifty miles south of Bryan/College Station we noticed the trailer doing a pretty serious wag. We pulled over and had a look. Sure enough, the left rear tire on the trailer was flat. All the load was being carried by the front tire on that side. “Well,” I said, “those tires were bought for that Fjord Van at least ten years ago. They sat in the corner of the shop for a while before I put them on the trailer. They are old, dry rotted, shitty, and the wrong size. I'll buy four new tires.” I thought I remembered there being a Disco Tire on the main drag in B/CS so we rolled on. John asked if I was the sort who insisted on trailer tires for the trailer or if I was willing to run car tires. I told him I'd read the reasons why Juan should always run trailer tires and never run car tires but didn’t remember them. “I don’t have a problem with car tires,” I said. We agreed that a smaller diameter would help with loading and unloading. “This is going to add a couple hours to the trip,” I said, thinking we’d limp the thing into town at a reduced speed. At one point I looked and saw he was still rolling at seventy. Oh well, it’s his car that’ll get hit by the tire shrapnel when it blows. I figured he knew what he was doing and ignored it. I was planning to buy tires anyway and a spectacular failure might make a good story. Hey, what do you know? It did! But I digress. We got to B/CS and rolled down the main drag. Almost immediately on the left was a Goodyear followed by a Wal-Mart. We thought we’d continue for a bit and look for the Disco Tire but all of a sudden John slowed down to a crawl. “Did the tire blow?” I asked as a hunk of rubber came falling from the sky in front of the truck. “Yeah,” he said as he did a “U” turn, “Looks like Wal-Mart or Goodyear.” We began to head back when he pulled to the side. “You aren’t going to pick up the chunks are you?” I asked. “No,” he replied, “but I am going to get your trailer's license plate out of the middle of the road.” I thanked him for that. As he tried to get us going again the engine stalled and died. Then, of course, it would not restart. “When it rains it pours!” John exclaimed. We took off across the field to the Wal-Mart intent on buying a battery. As we got to the parking lot we realized that carrying a battery all that way was really going to be a bitch. Fortunately there was a good ole boy sitting in his truck so John approached him to ask for a jump start. I was on the phone to my replacement here at work telling him I might not make it in to see him that afternoon. I told him the story and waved John and the guy to go ahead. I'd walk back. I took off across the field again and beat them there. I popped the hood and John got his cables from the 510. I hooked up the jumpers and the guy revved his motor. John cranked and Fifi fired right up. We unhooked and thanked the guy. I would have given him some cash but had a single dollar bill on me. Well, hopefully Karma will take care of him. We rolled (very slowly) back to the Goodyear. I went in and told the guy at the desk I needed four tires for the trailer and to have the battery checked in the truck. He sent us around back to drop the trailer and then to park the truck in a bay. I asked the sales guy if they were required to put trailer tires on a trailer because I'd rather “go cheap” if possible. He and I chose a set of passenger car tires of sufficient load rating for my needs, in a significantly smaller size than what was on there, and he got his guys to work. As they were taking off the “blowed up” tire, I looked at the hunk of tread hanging off. There was a nail in it. I asked the guy if he thought they could pull that nail and slap on a patch. We all had a good laugh at that. Ok, I laughed at that, they laughed at me for making the same lame joke they hear a thousand times a day. The sales guy found me a bit later and said the battery was totally shot. I approved the replacement and he got his guy to work on that as well. Before too long they were done and I went in to pay. When I walked back around to where the trailer used to be, I saw John rolling around the other end of the building. I walked back around and got in. We headed out again. So, after $501.00 I have four new tires on the trailer and Fifi has a new battery. So, apart from that one bit-o-excitement, it was a fairly uneventful trip. Tomorrow I'll probably “review” the two movies we watched while killing time Saturday, M. Night Shyamalamadingdong’s “What’s Happening: The Movie” (AKA “The Happening”), and Adam Sandler’s “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.” So stay tuned!