6/6/08

Darth Versa’s “Angel Eye” headlights arrived yesterday! Ooh, I can’t wait to install them! Of course I'm now going to be the douche bag who drives around with his park lights on so the angel eyes show all the time. I'm still debating the yellow film on these. I'll discuss it with John in the morning while we’re installing them. I’m not sure what the yellow will do to the HID headlight beams. I mean HIDs are usually bluish in color; will the yellow film make my headlights green? I don’t really want everything in front of me to look like The Incredible Hulk after all. Speaking of which… no wait, I'm not going to go into a rant about another Hulk movie coming out fifteen minutes after the last Hulk movie. I decided I really don’t care all that much. No, I think I'll rant about the new Batman movie. Ok, if they wanted the Joker to be Jack Nicholson again, why didn’t they cast Jack Nicholson again? No, they had to have the dead gay cowboy impersonating Jack Nicholson as the Joker. Well, all I have to say is, I hope the sets were made of flavorful material since the scenery chewing Christian Bale is the lead again. I'm not sure what it is about that guy, I just don’t like him. Oh wait, I remember now. John, what was the name of that travesty of a “Matrix” rip off we saw where he was a gun toting monk or some such douche baggery? Man those movies sucked. What? Oh yeah, I'm including the “Matrix” abominations in that condemnation. Oh, speaking of movies, which I am apparently doing today, guess what other movie isn't as good as I remembered: John Carpenter’s “Escape from New York.” It was on American Movie Classics the other night and they cut the ever living shit out of it. Ok, I understand cutting away when someone gets a spike through the head or something but they left an entire reel out of the middle of the film! One minute The Duke of New York, A-number one, is saying to Snake Plisskin, “I heard you were dead,” then they cut to commercial, and when they come back the President, Snake, Maggie, Brain, and Cabbie are racing through the streets headed for the bridge and freedom! What the fuck? Where was the big fight with the bald headed dude? Where was the escape from The Duke’s camp? It made the whole movie lose continuity. Then, to top it all off, when they realized they were missing a reel because the closing credits rolled about fifteen minutes too early, they jumped back to the point where Snake crashes the cab and they take off on foot again! It reminded me of the time I tried to watch “Sniper” on basic cable. I'm sure the dude editing out scenes thought, “We don’t really need this one scene because the exposition in it is probably explained somewhere else in the film. It won’t matter that all of a sudden the young sniper is crazy for no apparent reason. I know why it happened, everyone else will as well.” Guess what douche bag, I have no idea why Billy Zane went crazy in that movie. You totally lost me. And don’t get me started on “Plump Friction,” uh, I mean “Pulp Fiction.” No, I don’t mean trying to edit it for television, that was actually pretty funny, I mean the movie itself. Hated it. Well, actually I just hate Quentin Tarantino. The most overrated person in the history of history! I'd like to see Quentin Tarantino and Bill Gates locked in a “Death Match” cage, and then that cage sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Wait, throw Christian Bale in there as well! Well, I think I'm just about ranted out for the week. I'll talk to y'all on Monday. Toodles.