7/22/08

Dum dee dum dum, dum dee dum. Dum dee dum dee DUMP da da da da da. “And to recap our Jeopardy scores, we have a sack of hammers with $12,000.00, a box of rocks with $8,500.00 and Tim White with minus $43.95.” I feel like crap today and it is totally my own fault. I was online last night and decided to give ordering a pizza a shot. I got a medium hand-tossed super supreme with garlic dipping sauce and a two-liter of Pepsi. When it arrived, I proceeded to eat the whole damned pizza. I didn’t drink the whole Pepsi though. Had I done that y'all would probably be getting a post from Spider man in a few weeks saying, “We found Tim’s body the other day. Be alert as it looks like there might be an H.R. Giger/Ridley Scott Alien running amok somewhere.” Ok, so Spiderman might not have made such an overt reference to the 1979 film “Alien.” Anyhoo, the point is had I drunk all of the Pepsi, my gut would have exploded and it would have looked like an Alien had escaped. That's all I'm saying. All night I was in a quandary because I was so friggin’ thirsty yet too bloated to get enough water down my neck. I awoke this morning to incredible indigestion, which is still haunting me, and a continued feeling of bloat. Feh, I feel like crap. Oh, I've already said that I see. Well, I need to go to the Viewing Gallery to hold some useless douche bag’s hand… no, that’s just the indigestion talking. Well, I do need to go to the Viewing Gallery, but they might not be douche bags I'm meeting. We’ll see. I'll probably be back in a bit. Talk amongst yourselves while I'm away. Ok, ok, settle down. I'm back. I think the other thing that is making me feel so crappé is the fact that I had to be at Thornhill Nissan at 0700 h this morning to drop off Darth Versa. He’s been throwing a “loose gas cap” check engine light occasionally so I had them check it out. I thought about having them look at the front end alignment but I'm about to replace the tires in a few weeks so it would have been a waste of time. Anyhoo, I drop the car off at the butt-crack of dawn and wait for their courtesy shuttle. The dude comes into the waiting room and asks, “Who needs a ride?” Three of us get up and follow him to the van. I'm the only one west of the dealer so we head east first. He drops off the first lady a couple miles away. The dude in the front seat gets out at TCOM in the Hospital/Arts/Museum district. Then we head south to Alcon Labs at Alta Mesa and I-35! By the time we drop that lady off it is 0800 h and I'm late for work. Didn’t care then, don’t care now to be perfectly honest. I have the dude take me to the house and I go in for one last pre-work pee and to get my laptop and Fifi’s keys. I don’t see my cat but that just makes it easier to keep her inside today. I hop in Fifi and drive to work. I wind up only being about half an hour late. Hell, I've done worse just goofing off getting ready for work. So now I'm here talking to y'all. I realized at one point that the phone number I gave them isn't one I actually answer. I called and gave them my cell number. My service writer called back a little while ago to say that the car is ready. Apparently the gas cap was bad. I thought it might be because it didn’t feel right the last few times I filled up. Hopefully this will solve the problem. We’ll see. Ok, there is a show on ABC Family called “The Middleman.” It is a sort of “Men in Black” kind of show… Ok, it is almost totally an “MiB” ripoff now that I think about it. But it is so friggin’ funny. The Will Smith character is totally hot too. Oh yeah, Will Smith’s character is a chick named Wendy in this by the way. And she’s hot. No, she’s HOTT in capital letters with two Ts, as if you couldn’t read the way I just wrote it there. I suppose I could look up the actress on IMDb right quick. Hang on. Her name is Natalie Morales. Interesting, IMDb lists the show as a “drama.” I suppose it is, sort of, but I'd call it a “dramedy” for there is ample humor both in situations and actions. Oh, the Tommy Lee Jones character, Wendy’s boss, duh, drives the most bitchin’ flat black two door Ford Galaxy on TV! They, The Middleman Organization, provide her with a car as well. She has an equally bitchin’, in my opinion, Smart Car. Speaking of The Middleman Organization, it is so top secret that the employees don’t know who they work for. They just call it the O2S2K or The Organization Too Secret To Know. I'm totally hooked on this show. I need to catch the episodes I've missed when they go to reruns. Well, it is now lunchtime but my belly is still on fire from the massive pizza overdose last night. I'll just wait for the desktop support guys to call and maybe I'll find something to eat. But as for the rant, I think I'll shut up now and go play solitaire or something. Have a day.