7/24/08

Well, nothing new to report. Nope, nothing at all. Don’t believe Spiderman when he starts telling y'all anything different. There’s nothing going on. Just because Juan takes a hamburger, fries, and a Coke to a stripper when she begs for it doesn’t mean there’s anything going on. Nuh uh! Does not. I'm rubber you’re glue… Fine, I'll tell y'all the story. But first, Gregg called yesterday to ask when I was planning to go home. I told him that I'd cut out an hour, ok two, early on Tuesday so I'd better sat until at least 1600 h. He ‘splained that he was taking the 510 racecar back to Ray at the Motorsport Ranch but needed help putting it on the trailer. I said I'd swing by. I swung by. We rolled the dead hulk onto the trailer and strapped it down. We stood in the yard for a bit chatting and I finally took my leave of him. We arranged for him to call and come by the house on his return from the Ranch so he could get the papers to renew the license on Matilda. I headed for the house. While watching TV and waiting for his call, I got a text from the Toothless Hillbilly stripper. She said, “need food please”. I blew it off for a bit and thought about it. About an hour later I began to feel guilty. I texted her back and said, “Sorry, I just got the message.” And then I did something I swore I never would. I said, “RUOK?” I'm sorry. I know better. But I figured she’s using text messaging and the abbreviation would be easier and quicker for her end. What, you thought I meant the message itself? Psh! I figured since I'd given her an hour before responding, she might have found another source for food. Besides, apparently I can’t but help “strays.” She replied back that she was still starving. I asked where she was and said I could eat. She was at work fortunately. I asked if she was stuck there and if she wanted me to bring her a burger or something. She requested a burger. I asked if she had a preference in brands. She did not. I asked what she wanted on it and if she wanted fries or a drink or anything. She gave me her order and I said I'd be there in a bit. I had no intention of staying and didn’t get any money out of the ATM. I picked up a burger, fries and a Coke from Wendy’s and headed for the club. My resolve to not stay was bolstered by the row of Hardly Dumb Assed Ones in the parking lot. All identical except for color. Wow, you guys are such rebels! I parked Fifi and took the food and drink inside. The door chick gave me a hard time for not bringing her any food. “Hey,” I told her, “you didn’t text me asking for food!” she pouted a bit until I dropped a couple bucks in her tip jar. “Go on in sweetie,” she said. I walked in and looked around for TTH. She was on the main stage, damn it. That meant I'd have to wait until she finished with that stage, and also stage two. I figured I was stuck for at least two songs after the one currently playing. I made sure she noticed the food and had a seat. Fortunately, she was on her second song on stage one and they were only doing one song each on stage two. She dropped off her stuff at my table as she headed for stage two and I waited. When she came back she ate about half her burger and most of the fries then wrapped it up for later. I told her I couldn’t stay because I had a Board Meeting this morning, which was actually the truth. We watched a few more girls dance and then I said I had to go. I did not get any money from the machine. I did not buy her any drinks. I did not buy any dances. Hell, I even saved my absolute last dollar bill for a Mr. Pibb this morning! She hinted several times that she didn’t even have the money for her hotel room. I shrugged and said, “Sorry. I'd love to help but I'm broke ass!” I even told the waitress that when she came by. I finally left about half an hour after arriving and didn’t even look back. I'm pretty lucky that my memory of her looks is actually worse than her actual looks. I remember at the time thinking, “She’s not as muttley as I remembered.” Fortunately, now I'm remembering her as being as muttley as I remembered! I still get a cold chill every time I think about her face. I just did it again. Hopefully by only feeding her and not supporting her financially she’ll stop… ok, I'm not believing that either. Well, judging from the way the “ultra dangerous super outlaw biker gang” was ignoring her, I don’t think I have to worry about them coming after me for blowing her off. Moving on, I expect to get a call from the radiator shop about my, duh, radiator today. I didn’t make it to the shop to pick up the header and intake manifold for Automotive Machine though. Perhaps I will do that this evening and take them tomorrow. I mentioned the ceramic coated cast iron manifold I have to the machinist and I think I'll bring it along as well. If it flows better than that POS header, I don’t have problem one with using it. I do wish I had the four-port manifold off of George’s turbo engine though. The big assed open chamber for the numbers two and three cylinders bugs the hell out of me. Perhaps a divider wing sort of device can be fashioned to meld the flow as it enters the manifold. Yeah, I need to bring that manifold as well when I take the other stuff to them. I don’t know, we’ll see. So, here I am, babysitting another Bored Meeting. It is only 0830 h and I'm already so bored with this that I could just about scream. Well, I think I'm going to shut y'all down for a bit and go play solitaire. What are they going to do, fire me? Psh! As if. Ok, I'm back. Tony Calvert sent me a video the other day of BBC’s “Top Gear” doing a test of the world’s smallest production car ever, the Peel P50. This thing is so tiny you wouldn’t believe it. I have the shit-hots for a micro-car now. Whether I buy or build, I don’t know, but I want one bad! I started thinking about that 12 horsepower Briggs & Stratton engine and lawn tractor transaxle I built onto a subframe thingy for the motorized shopping cart. I think I could make a really tiny “city car” like the Peel using those components as a starting point. Of course the problem is since it is a lawn tractor transaxle the thing wouldn’t have enough speed to be “practical.” By the way, that 12 horse Briggs is still three times more powerful than the Peel! Yes, the Peel P50 has a four horsepower DKW moped engine. Perhaps if I step up the “gearing” of the input belt I could make the thing run 30 or 40 miles per hour. The transaxle has two forward speeds and a reverse but if you have ever driven a lawn tractor you know that neither speed is very fast. I'm thinking about somehow making it a dual-belt input drive system, one for “low” and another for “high.” That would essentially make the thing have four forward speeds and two reverse! Of course the gearing of the transaxle so so close as to be practically useless as a shifting transmission. Perhaps just a single speed on the belt and let that slip until a useable speed is achieved. It would mean the thing idles at around 20 miles per hour though. Ok, I need to just stop right now. I do not need to get into another stupid project like this. Of course I am going to be on the lookout for a really cheap, wrecked in the rear most likely, FWD Nissan Sentra, or Stanza, or a Datsun F10 or 310. Oh crap! If I found an F10 or 310, it should have an A-series engine! I could use Gil’s rumpety cam, the single side draft, and a header in the back of something similar to a Smart Car and have a really bitchin’ little commuter buggy! I think I could make the thing small and light enough that the struts and brakes from a 1200 would suffice in the front, especially since it would have the F10 or 310 front struts and disc brakes in the rear. Also, a little rear brake bias could help prevent the thing from doing “stoppies,” sort of the reverse of wheelies where the rear tires come off the ground under hard braking. I'm picturing a really short wheelbase by the way. Like half that of a Datsun 1200. I definitely want the overall length to be half a 1200. Track width would be the same as an F10 or 310, whichever shows up and gets cannibalized. Damn, now I want to do this. Of course John is going to send me several ads for F10s and 310s and Sentras and Stanzas, and all other sorts of FWD cars he can find. Well, I say that, he might hate this idea so much that he’ll want to quash it. Nip it in the bud, as it were. Nip it, nip it, nip it! Well, it looks like the Bored Meeting is done. I guess I'll shut the room down and go to my office until lunchtime. Toodles.