7/3/08

Ok, this has been eating at me all week. Carrie Underwood has a song out called “Before He Cheats” where she sings about vandalizing some dude’s truck because she SUSPECTS him to be cheating on her. First off, there is nothing in the song that indicates that he is actually cheating on her. All she says is something to the effect of, “Right now, he’s probably slow dancing…” “…she’s probably getting frisky” “…probably buying her some fruity drink…” and so on. Every accusation she has against him is a “probably.” The dumb cunt hasn’t even caught the guy cheating; she just says he’s probably cheating. This is the same kind of psycho bitch attitude that almost got a friend of mine in trouble. He told me that she saw a car like his with some girl in the passenger seat and chased them down to confront him. When she did catch up to them, she realized it wasn’t his car. He asked what would have happened if she hadn’t caught them. She said she was going to come back to the apartment and throw all of his stuff out in the parking lot. And people ask why I don’t date. Fucking morons. Anyhoo, back to this Underwood psycho bitch. She probably saw his truck in the parking lot of a bar and assumed he was cheating on her. Um, hello Miss Underwood? Did it ever occur to you that he might be there with some of the guys watching a football game, or a NASCAR race, or more likely just having a beer to get the hell away from your psycho ass for a little while? No, you just jump right on your menstrual cycle and destroy his truck. Also, there is nothing in that song to indicate just how long y'all have been going out. Are you two married? We don’t know. Have you been sweethearts since childhood? Good question. Did y'all just meet one night in a bar, have a one night stand, and now you’re getting all clingy? Could be. There is nothing to indicate whether or not your actions were in the least bit justified. Sure, he may be a cheater, but maybe it was you he was cheating with last time. Did you think of that? Oh, and shouldn’t your car get trashed as well? And shouldn’t the one he cheated on with you make that decision? For that matter, the only way you could possibly know that he is cheating just because he is in a bar is that you were once the other woman! You are the one who should have keys dug into the side of your car. Have her name carved into your leather seats. Have both your headlight broken out. Have all four of your tires slashed. Doesn’t that seem fair? Now what really pisses me off about this song is how many times I've seen drunk-assed bitches singing along with it like it is the new Feminazi National Anthem. I think the next time I'm out with people and we hear that song, I'm going to laugh once and then say with a straight face, “They would never find her body.”