8/19/08

So, I promised the story of Fifi today. Here it is. Saturday morning I decided I really need Fifi to be legal. I asked mom if she would be willing to follow me to the Firestone on Hwy 80 so I could get it done. With Friday having been a payday I was what Juan might call “nigger rich” so dropping the coin to have someone fix it didn’t hurt as much. By the way, I'm not going to apologize or explain the use of the term “nigger rich.” If it offends you, go the fuck away. So mom and I head for the ‘Stone to get Fifi legal. I tell the dude at the counter that I need an inspection but have a “check engine” light on. He goes through his song and dance about it going to be $75.00 to read the code and figure out what is wrong… blah, blah, blah. I tell him to go ahead. I give the all terrain tires a sideways glance but decide I really don’t need them just yet. When he has the ticket written up he asks if there’s anything else I want. I sigh and say, “Yeah, go ahead and throw…” Ok, now I'm going to break for a little suspenseful pause. Did Tim opt for a) a set of all terrain tires, b) a set of highway rib light truck tires in the correct size for the truck, or c) a set of high performance summer tires in the right size for the truck? Go ahead, think it over from what you know about me and make a decision. I'll wait. Ok, if you picked b) get to the back of the line and re-read all of the old posts. You know me not at all. If you picked c) then you have been paying attention to my personality somewhat but still missed it. On a truck like Fifi, one used not as a performance vehicle, I probably won’t run performance tires. If you picked a) then congratulations, you do know what I like in my pickup trucks, styling wise. Go have a cookie on me. Of course the correct answer was d) an oil change. I just told you I decided I didn’t need tires just now. Weren’t you paying attention? Sheesh! So, back to the narrative, I sigh and say, “Yeah, go ahead and throw in an oil change. It’s probably about time.” See, when John and I went to Houston a few months ago, has it been that long? Anyhoo, when we went to Houston, we discussed whether or not I have ever changed the oil. I do not remember ever changing it. The guy tells me he will call when he knows what the deal is with the light before they fix anything. I say “cool” and leave. Mom and I go back to the house and I hop in Darth Versa to go to the shop. I told you yesterday what all I did there. So, while driving Mr. Wiggly to O’Reilley’s for the crimp connectors I get the call from the Firestone. He tells me that the code was in fact an oxygen sensor as I suspected all along. Thing is, it wasn’t a bad oxygen sensor. It was an unplugged oxygen sensor. D’oh! He said there were also some “lean misfire” codes on the 5 and 6 cylinders and suggested a tune up. He told me the wires looked new but recommended new plugs. Ok, I'll buy that. He then went on to say that the fuel system could stand to be cleaned and have the filter replaced. That sounded reasonable as well. Then he wanted to replace all the hoses and flush the cooling system. I asked what all of that was going to cost. He said, “$795.43,” or something like that. I thought about it for a second and asked what it would be without the cooling system work. That dropped it to $523.00 or so. It was a couple hundred more than I had originally planned for this job but I knew I'd never actually tune the thing up. I told him to gopher it, minus the cooling system stuff of course. I'll get around to that one of these days, when it fails of course. So, when I finish up with George for the day, I decide to swing by and see how things are going out of my way home. As I'm approaching the highway I get a call from the dude. He tells me that all the work is done but the OBD-II system needs a certain number of miles and run cycles before the codes quit failing the inspection. That seemed reasonable. That keeps guys like me from resetting the codes and going straight to the inspection station, a thought which crossed my mind. The reason I never did that was the code reappeared so quickly the one time I did reset it that I knew it wouldn’t work. Anyhoo, he said they had driven the truck down to Loop 820 a few times but it still needed more miles before it would pass. I told him it is a spare vehicle and that I could live without it for a few days. He was concerned about them driving it that much and I said to not worry about it. They still had a few more hours before closing time so he said they would try to finish that evening. I reiterated that I could wait until Monday after work for it but he said they’d be open Sunday and would have it finished then. That surprised me. I told him to do what they must and hung up. Sunday noon, mom and I went in her car to check on it and have some lunch. Since I hadn’t heard from them, I decided we’d eat first. We went to Joe’s Pizza and Pasta, or something like that. I had a Stromboli and a slice of pepperoni and sausage pizza while mom had a salad and a slice of supreme pizza. It was dang good but I ate too much. We headed back to the ‘Stone to check on Fifi. I joked on the way that since I bought lunch, mom could get the truck. She laughed and asked how much I thought it was going to be. “I don’t want to tell you,” I said. We checked in and they said it would be another hour or so since it still needed at least one more drive before it reset. I said that was cool and left. About an hour later I got the call that it was ready but mom was napping so I waited to hear her stir. When she got up and asked if it were time, I said it was. We went back and she asked again how much I thought it was going to cost. I danced around the subject and told her that they sold me a tune up and fuel system flush so it was going to be more than I had anticipated. She insisted on knowing so I told her, “five hundred.” She said she’d give me $250.00 when we got home. I said I appreciated that and then went on my usual “repetition of thanks until it sounded sincere” rant. See, I cannot say “thank you” and make it sound sincere. I always feel like I sound sarcastic. We got the truck out of hock and went home. She transferred $250.00 into my credit onion account from her credit onion account and I thanked her again. I then went back to the shop to finish working on George. Wow, I really didn’t think that story was going to be that long. Well, I would say “I hope you enjoyed it” but I really don’t care one way or the other. Yeah, that’s how I roll. I guess I'll tell the Darth Versa tire and “I'm rethinking the dash in George already” stories tomorrow. Have a day.