9/2/08

I am getting a late start today because I was far too pissed off to rant this morning. Yes, believe it or not, I was pissed off about something. Let me just ask, why would you put a quarter slot on a vending machine but not allow it to take quarters for the sale? The Coca Cola Company is on my shit list now. Of course Coke has always tasted like what I imagine rancid diarrhea filtered through a Bolivian unicyclist’s jockstrap would taste like, so there’s no real love lost. Ok, “New Coke” from the eighties didn’t taste like rancid diarrhea filtered through a Bolivian unicyclist’s jockstrap, because it tasted like Pepsi. Pepsi=good, Coke=bad. So why was I trying to use a Coke vending machine and not a Pepsi, or better yet, a Dr. Pepper, vending machine? Here’s why. The Dr. Pepper machines are all 12 oz can machines whereas the Coke machine is a 20 oz bottle machine. I'll settle for the inferior Dr. Pepper knockoff Mr. Pibb, or Pibb Extra as their extreme marketing folks like to call it now, to get the 20 oz bottle. I could walk all the way around to the other side of the building and get a 20 oz Pepsi but I seem to remember that machine not taking quarters either. I guess I'm just going to have to start making the trek from now on. So, having said all of that, I tried to rant about it first thing this morning but Tiny and Flaccid had to pile on the aggravation and piss me off further one sentence into the attempt. I deleted it all and decided to wait until after lunch to talk to y'all. And here I am. So let me tell y'all about the long weekend. I don’t think I did anything special Friday evening. At least I dint remember doing anything special. Saturday morning John and I meet at the shop. I actually stopped for gas and a car wash on the way and was apparently sitting in the wash when he stopped in the inconvenience store. I followed him to the shop from there. We set to work on Shi-Chi. We fingered out which hole the long stud was supposed to go into and got to work installing them. John sla… he sla… I can’t even type the “S” word without getting a heebie-jeebie. John put a generous quantity of ARP assembly lube on the threads of each stud and handed them to me, one at a time. I ran them in slightly more than finger tight with an Allen wrench. We had a look at the head gasket and decided which way was up then he sla… nope, still can’t type it. He spread some silicone sealant on the gasket around the oil drain and push rod holes and we dropped that in place. The head slid down on the studs and we snugged down the nuts, after lubing them up with assembly lube of course. It was then that I discovered I could not find my 12 point 12 mm socket. We took off to the store for one. When we got back, we found Gregg there with his kid. I was expecting them so it wasn’t like, “Oh my! Gregg is here with his kid! I couldn’t be more surprised if I drank a Coca Cola which didn’t taste like rancid diarrhea filtered through a Bolivian unicyclist’s jockstrap!” Nope, it was nothing like that at all. We rolled Shi-Chi out so Gregg could dig out the Yamaha three wheeler and I torqued the head down out in the sun. After we loaded the three wheeler into his truck and John finished “sorting” through the boxes they’d moved to get it out, we pushed Shi-Chi back in. I had a look at the exhaust manifold to see if it was going to fit in the chassis. No, not quite. I pulled all the studs from the intake/exhaust manifold surface of the head and tried again. Closer, but still no luck. We piddled with some more stuff for a bit and then Gregg left and Marty Smith showed up. Marty was hungry so we decided there wasn’t any more we could do without the gazinta/gazowta gasket. We cleaned up and closed up then went to Genghis Grill for a bowl of Mongoloid Stir Fry. When the checks came I reached for my wallet. It was in the pants I'd been wearing while working on Shi-Chi. John got my lunch and we headed out. I found the wallet in the floor of Darth Versa, in the back pocket of the pants I'd been wearing, and paid John back. Marty bid us farewell and John and I went to the gun show. I did find two Smith & Wesson .50 caliber Magnum pistols but couldn’t bring myself to drop $750.00 for one. On our way out I told John, “Well, if they’d had a Desert Eagle .50, I'd have bought it.” We went our separate ways and I wasted the rest of the evening in front of the TV. Sunday I took the long way to the shop. When I finally arrived I started looking at the zorst manifold situation again. I hung the header and sprayed on a generous coating of silver paint. While that dried, I took another look at the manifold. I decided that removing the studs from the downpipe flange might allow it to fit. I got one stud out and it did fit. I decided that I could use a bolt in that hole and make this better flowing manifold work after all. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a donut or a mounting flange for the down pipe. While searching for one, I found a 2” band clamp zorst union I'd bought for some project and began playing with it. I decided I could weld that into the end of the manifold and use the band clamp to attach the zorst. This I did. I took the Dremel tool and cut away the ceramic coating on the manifold and zooked in one half of the band clamp. I zooked the other half of the clamp to a 90° section of mandrel bend and then my phone rang. It was mom asking how much longer I was planning to be there. I didn’t realize it was already 1830 h so I said I'd clean up and come home. Monday morning I goofed off at home. Mom and I went to lunch around noon and then I went to the shop. I “installed” the zorst manifold and started to look at my output options. I decided against drilling a new hole in the side of the car when I saw that it wouldn’t take too tortuous of a route to get from the manifold to the existing zorst system. I made the new zorst and sat back to look at it for a bit. It has essentially one more 90° turn than it had before but I think the flow bench numbers showed significant enough increase in flow over that crappy header that, worst case, it will be a wash. I don’t think it will be a wash, I think this will flow better. We’ll see. So, now all I'm waiting for is the gazinta/gazowta gasket and this thing ought to fire up. Oh, I did stop and buy a 160° thermostat and installed it as well. So yeah, all I need is a gasket and Shi-Chi will live again. Huzzah!