7/6/09

My oldest brother turned fifty nine yesterday. Yeah, it would have been more exciting if it were sixty, but what are you going to do? Anyhoo, happy birthday Bruce. So, what has happened since we last spoke? I wasted most of Saturday waiting around for Amy to call and tell me if we were going to the lake. She did, at around 1300 h and said they’d pick me up in half an hour. I took a quick shower and dressed. I debated carrying and Massad Ayoob won. “If you are going to carry, always carry.” Amy, Sam, and Edie picked me up and we headed to the lake. Some friend of theirs named “P” owns a house on Lake Worth. That’s where we went. We walked out to the dock/boathouse and went up on the roof where everyone was. Ho, man! There was this one chick… homina homina! Dark mahogany tan, skimpy bikini… did I mention homina homina? Whoof! I settled in with folks I knew. Before long, another friend of ours, Jenny, showed up and promptly whipped off her “T” shirt and shorts to reveal a teeny little black bikini. I'd never really thought about Jenny until then. Yoinks! Not too shabby. Edie and Amy were both wearing one piece suits and are too much like sisters to me for me to check them out. Ok, I tried to check them out but the sisterly thing kicked in too hard. We all went down to “get in the water.” I had no intention of getting in but followed anyway. I did kick off my shoes and dangle my feet off the dock once I found a hat. Ok, it was a giant pink sombrero, but it kept my head from burning. A few other folks came and went as the afternoon progressed including another teeny bikini. She sat next to me on the dock and began talking. Some might say she was flirting, but she mentioned “the boyfriend” way too many times to be serious. I was having a tough time with the gun in my waistband so I got up to take it back to the truck. While away I was thinking, “I gotta tell Amy to keep me informed as to when this latest bikini breaks up with ‘the boyfriend.’” I came back unarmed and then noticed that she was a bit Land O’ Lakes after all. You know, a “butter face.” I decided to go ahead and let “the boyfriend” have her. Don’t get me wrong, if she showed up on my doorstep I'm not turning her away, I'm just not going to pursue. Ok, so as the afternoon progresses, our hostess tells us that we’re moving the party down the lake at 1930 h to go see a band and some other folks and stuff. I was not enthused. Jenny mentioned needing a nap. “I’m with you there,” I said. When it began to get close to time to head to the new party, I turned to Jenny and asked if I could bum a ride home. Now is when the story gets interesting. Edie hears this and asks if she can hitch along with us. I didn’t think too much of it at the time. We load up in Jenny’s truck and head for Amy & Sam’s where Edie is parked so Edie can take me on home. That last part was planned by Edie. I shrugged and went along for the ride. We all gave our reasons for bailing on the party and it all sort of jibed so, again, I didn’t think too much of it. Jenny dropped us off and then Edie dropped me off. It wasn’t until later that I began to think about things. Jenny has a bit of a “man eater” rep with Amy and Edie in that she’ll “love ‘em and leave ‘em.” So I'm told. I probably shouldn’t have said that but it seems pertinent. I began to wonder if Edie’s willingness to leave the party was a “cock block” to keep Jenny out of my pants, or conversely me out of Jenny’s. I don’t think it was an attempt to get me into her pants or vice versa, but I do wonder if she was “protecting” me. I may have to ask someday. So I'm home by 2000 h and fast asleep in my chair by 2030 h. I wake up around 2300 h and realize I've missed all of the fireworks. I shrug it off and go to bed. Sunday morning I turn down a request to go have eat all you can barbecue with Roger since mom wanted to have a steak for lunch. I also get a call from Rob inviting me to come over to their pool for the afternoon. Pat, Nora, Erin, Randy, and Jana are all coming over so I say I'll be there after mom and I have lunch. Mom and I accidentally order filet mignon steaks instead of the filet k-bobs we normally get and the bill is about twice what she expected. Oops. It was friggin’ awesome dead cow though! I decide to go ahead and drive Shichi to Rob's and go to the Purple Cow from there. I remind Pat about the PC and around 1745 h we head for the shop to get Lil' Wiggly. We arrive at the PC and park the two cars. There were a lot more “Lookee Loos” at this event and I had to ‘splain Shichi several times. I didn’t really mind all that much. We went in and ate. I bought Pat’s dinner for driving Lil' Wiggly for me and over tipped the Cutie Patootie waitress, as usual. We headed back to the shop around 2115 h knowing that the gates lock at 2200 h. Just as I'm about to pull out, I try to fart. It didn’t feel right. I was afeared I'd shat myself. I hadn’t, it turns out. But I did have to go pretty badly by the time we pulled into the facility. Of course the public toilet is closed for renovation. I knew I couldn’t make it home though so desperate times call for desperate measures. I leaned on Herman and crapped on the ground. Pat came around the corner to pee and just said, “Oh, hey. Taking a dump?” and went about his business. We locked up the shop and headed out. Well, he headed out. I went around back and dumped again on the 200SX. When I was sure my bowels would make it home, I took the roof off of Shichi and headed home. I did stop and filled the tank on the way since 1) it was below empty and B) the Mobil station was still open. It began to sprinkle as I drove down Old Granbury Road and by the time I got to the highway I could not see through the windshield. I plugged on though. I figured once up to freeway speed the rain would run off and clear my view. Yeah, not so much. I made it home and parked the car. I thought about calling mom to open the door but the rain, such that it was, quit so I didn’t. So, there you have it. Everything that happened since we last spoke. Oh, they apparently fixed the e-mail problem Thursday because I didn’t get any more e-mails about the communications software after I left. Darn. Oh, and we’re also starting a countdown to me becoming a Linux guy. Only fourteen more days of Windows! Woo hoo!