9/1/2011

Well, here we are in September. New laws go into effect today preventing employers from preventing lawful possession of a firearm in an individual’s locked car on company property. Hedley LaMarr is resting comfortably in the driver’s door pocket of Ms. Clio right now. You might have noticed that I didn't call it the Black Death that time. Yeah, I guess I can live with the smell since a) the car is paid for and 2) it really is a pretty fun car to hoon. Is it the fastest car I've ever driven? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Is it the fastest car I've ever owned? Not even close. Can you say “Chickenhawk” or “Fauxbra”? Is it the best handling car I've ever driven? Again, not a chance. Is it the best handling car I’ve owned? Psh, I've got a friggin’ Lotus Seven, c’mon. Is it the most comfortable car I've ever driven? Meh, not really. Is it the most comfortable car I’ve owned? No, that would be the Pimpmobile. Of course if Juan were to discount the Pimpmobile, it might be close to the top of the “Most Comfortable” list... perhaps. But that isn't one of my major concerns. Sure, I don't want to be beaten to a pulp ever time I drive a car, but I don't need to drive my sofa to work every morning either. Let’s see, what else? Does it get the best mileage? Not the way I drive it! Is it the most unique? Well, yes and no. Sure there are a butt-load of Versae out there, but mine is the only “Renault Clio” in the area. Is it the most menacing looking car I've ever seen? No... just, no. Is it the most menacing looking car I've ever owned? Hmm, I need to think on that for a minute. No, I guess we’re going to have to look back to the Chickenhawk again, or perhaps Barbecue Bob or the Fauxbra, for title of most menacing. No, Ms. Clio is not the epitome of any certain aspect of the driving experience, but it does the things I ask of it well enough and in a fun enough manner that I think I'm going to stop thinking about new cars for a while. John had me hot and heavy for a Hyundai Genesis Coupe yesterday, but I think I'm going to let sanity prevail and forget about it for a while. Oh wait! I just thought of the one aspect of Ms. Clio that beats all cars I've ever owned, and just about every one I've ever driven. It has a six-speed transmission! Six-speeds are cool. In fact, now that I think about it, that WAS the reason I bought a Versa in the first place. The looks didn't move me, but I fell in love with that transmission the first time I rowed through all those gears. Well, of course there is one more aspect where Ms. Clio will win hands down. Is it the stinkiest car I've ever driven? Maybe. Is it the stinkiest car I've ever owned. Yes. But I guess that should be more on the “Cons” list now that I think about it. Anyhoo, the long and the short of it is, I'm going to settle for driving Ms. Clio for the foreseeable future. Of course another dead mouse might change my mind.