9/5/14

Wait, what is this?  Another rant?  That can’t be, I’ve started doing a single rant a week.  You must be imagining this.  Well, as we’re in The Land of Make Believe, I guess I’ll gas on for a bit about yet another dumb-assed idea I have.  I will start by saying that I have no science to back this up, just superstition and… um, whatever the word is for thinking something might happen because of the way other things have been going.  So, having said all of that, let me say this, since we have had such a relatively mild summer, I think we might get a real nasty winter this year.  That would suck for me because I went and sold my nasty weather vehicle: Fifi.  I am not looking forward to bashing through snowdrifts in Fiona.  So, I am on the lookout for a shitbox “Weather Beater” car.  I tried to look at things like Toyota Camrys (Camries?), Corrollas, Kia, Hyundai, and Suzuki small hatches, and other run of the mill people mover shit box “Damn, I have to settle for THIS?” kinds of cars but, every time I thought about having to drive one I felt like I would be sampling the flavor of a shotgun barrel in short order.  Then I thought about a Crown Victoria.  Yeah, that could work.  But if I’m honest, I’d rather be in a light weight front wheel drive car in snowy situations.  I saw a few Yarises (Yari?  What the fuck is up with Toyota giving cars names Juan cannot pluralize?) which I liked but they were out of my price range.  This morning I decided to shop for Escorts (Escorts?  Oh wait, that one pluralizes).  There is one on Craigslist for $500.00 which looks to be the perfect shitbox “Weather Beater” for me.  Two door, five speed, beat assed, and broken A/C… for five Benjamins!  I sent him... or her, mustn’t be sexist, an e-mail asking if it was still around.  I have not heard back yet.  I also found a few Escort Wagons in, or at least adjacent to, my price range.  I always liked the way that five speed Escort Wagon we had at the Fire Station A/V office drove.  $1,100.00 could get me in a decent wagon from Waco which already has alloy wheels.  No, that is not a big selling point to me, and I’m not sure about the red color, but… hell, I don’t know.  There was a clean looking white wagon for $1,000.00 which needs a crank position sensor.  John warned me away from a car for sale which only needs a $5.00 part though.  Of course there is also the fact that a white car is kind of… wrong, unless Juan is looking for winter weather camouflage.  That is a plus for the red, now that I think about it.  The $500.00 car is black, which works as well.  Of course what would make the most sense would be to hammer on my neighbor and get to work reviving that Subaru across the street.  I think for five or six hundred dollars I could have that up and going… I think.  My problem with that plan is the fact that that car is a little too nice to be a “Weather Beater.”  Of course if it were AWD we’d be having a different conversation… well, we’d be planning from the get-go to make that car the “Weather Beater,” sort of thing.  I’ve been internally arguing whether it is better to get a running and driving car, and hope to not have to deal with issues down the road, or get one which I KNOW needs to be fixed so I KNOW what is right and wrong with it.  Damn, free Subaru with $500.00 worth of parts and my (ok, John’s with my help if I’m honest) labor does sound like the way to go.  Well, I’m going to go to lunch and cipher and figger on this for a bit.  I’ll be back.  And I have no more to say… so