8/30/10

Wow, I have a lot to say this week. Well, at least it seems like a lot, it will probably turn out to be very little once I get going. Speaking of which, here goes. Some time ago, my sister told me about some “Pirate Thing” going on in Granbury some time. She wanted to know if I would attend and wear my pirate costume. Yeah, yeah, I have a pirate costume, get over it. I said I'd think about it and promptly forgot about it. Well, Friday I get a call from her asking if I'm planning to attend the “Pirate Thing” on Saturday night. “Um, sure,” I say. She then asks me if I'd be willing to go to Not Texas to pick up a Pirate Wench at Love Field. “Um, sure,” I say. All day I'm wondering if I'm being set up, either on a date or for some sort of weird pirate related joke involving me being in Not Texas somehow. I call her later in the day and am given flight information and time and the girl’s name and stuff. I head to Not Texas. Man, that place has changed in the ten, or more, years since I was near downtown. It will probably change a lot more before I go back too. Anyhoo, I get to Love Field, an airport whose very existence pisses me off to no end, “Oh sure Fort Worth,” says dallas, “we’ll shut down our airport so we can go in on the building of DFW with you.” only to renege and reopen the bastard a few years later. Shit! I hate that fucking town. Nuke the entire fucking county! Line every one of those bastards up against the wall and shoot the ever living fuck out of them. Fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck! I hate dallas. That “city” wants to be New York Junior, but all it can pull off is Chicago Lite. Anyhoo, I get there and park then go in to wait for her flight to arrive. Somehow I missed her coming off the plane and going to baggage claim. I stood there holding a sign which read “Aargh!” but apparently she didn't see it either. OK, it actually had her name and not “Aargh!” written on it. Eventually I called my sister and asked for a better description of the wench. It’s OK, she really is a professional wench, I can call her that. By using four cell phones, one in my hand, one in my sister’s hand, one in the hand of some pirate at the party where my sister was, and one in the hand of the wench at the airport, we found each other. We loaded up the car and headed towards Granbury. I asked her, “So, how does one get into ‘wenchery’?” She told me her story. This is not it. Apparently there is a traveling “Pirates of the Caribbean” reenactment troupe in the greater Los Angeles area. They were hired to “do” this Boys and Girls Club pirate themed event in Granbury. Her story is just as boring but didn't really ‘splain why they were here. Oh, I think the Granbury High School mascot might be The Pirates as well, but don't quote me on that. So, 2100 h at night, I have a strange, in so many ways, girl in my car headed from Not Texas to Granbury. Anyone familiar with the North Texas area can probably see the potential problem. Going from the hustle, bustle, and lights of Not Texas, through the less hustly, bustly, but still well lit Fort Worth, through the downright sleepy little, yet also well lit Benbrook, out into that dark, desolate, stretch of Hwy 377 to Granbury. I can just imagine what was going through her poor little head. She must have thought she’d be the main course at Saturday’s barbecue out back of the Bates Motel. Eventually we met up with my sister and I handed the wench off to her. So, t’was neither kind of set up, fortunately. I eventually got home and went to bed. Saturday morning John and I went to the gun show instead of the shop. Yeah, we both felt a little guilty for doing indoor stuff on the first “nice” day of the summer. Meh, what are you going to do? I searched for that barrel for the Auto 5 but did not find it. I did find the leather guy selling a “butt-cuff” for the Lever Gun which holds an additional seven rounds of .45 Colt ammo. I didn't buy it at that time though. I saw a few things I wanted but decided to hold out for the barrel. When we’d walked the whole show we left and went to Joe T. Garcia’s for lunch. We met Pat there and John pawned me off on him for a ride home. He texted me to ask if it was a “dick move” on his part and I neglected to tell him I'd had the same thought earlier. I figured he could stew on it for a while. Tee hee. So now we’re to the “Pirate Thing” in Granbury part of the story. I dress in my costume then mom and I head out. She doesn't have a costume, and had no intention of wearing one, so I suggested she put a dollar bill in each of her earrings. “Why a dollar bill in each earring?” I hear you asking. So she’d be a “Buck an Ear” of course. Yes, I did steal that “joke.” Think less of me if you must. OK, so the reason I'm beginning to think the Granbury High School might be “The Pirates” is, there were a lot of folks at this thing with really good pirate costumes. I mean, more than the traveling “Pirates of the Caribbean” group. Anyhoo, the event was OK, I didn't have a terrible time. They had an auction though. There was a signed, limited edition print of a couple baby bears frolicking up for auction. No one was bidding on it so I threw in a $100.00 bid. I hoped someone would outbid me. They did not. Fortunately I did get outbid on the $50.00 for some mystery box thing. So, now I have this bear print thing to put up in the house somewhere. But that’s not important. Mom and I eventually left and went home. Oh, when I knew I'd be home Saturday night, I texted Larry Shuttlebus to say I'd be available to go to the gun show with him on Sunday. We agreed he’d call when he was leaving his house. But I'll save that story for tomorrow.