10/11/2011

I never thought anything could make me hate it more than I hate Tiny and Flaccid, AKA Microsoft. Apple is working hard at it though. Ok, here’s the thing. All the Apple sycophants out there want you to believe that i-shit is so intuitive and easy to use. No, no it isn’t. i-Tunes is a pain in the ass. i-Phones are a pain in the ass. i-Pods are a pain in the ass. To everyone out there grieving about Steve Jobs dying I say, “Psh, good riddance.” The only computer geek asshole I'm going to rejoice more at his death is Bill “Tiny and Flaccid” Gates. Believe me, there will be a “Huzzah! He’s Worm Food!” party when that shit head dies. But back to i-Shit. Can anyone tell me why when you synch your i-Pod to your i-Tunes only the songs you bought from i-Tunes synchs automatically? Why don’t all those CDs I spent hours importing to i-Tunes, which show up in the i-Tunes library on the computer by the way, why don’t they synch to the i-Pod? No, you have to go in and MANUALLY tell it to put them on the i-Pod. Oh, and if you don’t go in and tell it not to, it puts multiple copies of each CD each time you back and manually force it to synch them. So, if you spent a couple hours importing a bunch of CDs into the i-Tunes library on your laptop, then force it to synch to your i-Pod, then come back the next day to import more CDs to the i-Tunes library, when you force the next synch, you get TWO copies of the CDs you imported the day before! Seriously, what the fuck? “Well yeah,” say the sycophants, “You have to go into the ‘Properties’ and reset the blah blah blah.” How in the fuck is THAT intuitive? No that is fucking computer retard justification for some retard programmer’s fucking… retardation. Then there’s the i-Pod controls. Now this might be a Hyundai problem but… I mean, fuck! How in the fuck are you supposed to play an album? The only thing I've gotten this fucking retarded thing to do is play all the fucking songs in alphabetical order. Ok no, that isn’t exactly true. I did get it to play an “album” once. But did it move on to the next album after that? Fuck no, it restarted the same “album” over again. Now this wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been something like “Dino: The Essential Dean Martin” which has thirty songs on it. No, it was two songs by Tom Tom Club which I had downloaded. And while I'm admitting to making it do things, I did get it to select a certain genre of music for me once, but it still just plays the songs from that genre in alphabetical order. “So what?” Wait, did I actually just hear someone say, “So what?” Well, I happen to like listening to whole albums. I get used to hearing songs in a certain order. If the artist put the songs in that order they wanted them in that order for some reason. Besides, while it is true that I chose every song in the library because I like all those songs, for the most part, jumping from Henry Mancini’s “Baby Elephant Walk” to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” is… jarring, to say the least. Sure, in the genre based scenario I managed to make work ONCE, this kind of dichotomy wouldn’t occur, but most of the time the fucking thing plays ALL THE DAMNED SONGS IN ALPHBETICAL ORDER!!!!! No, i-Shit is not intuitive. It is not user friendly. It is not the be all and end all of everything technology, like the i-Sycophants want you to believe. It is a pain in the ass and I hate it. The end.