1/17/12

Well, I've been doing some thinking…again. John asked the question this morning, “How important are disc brakes on the rear of Super Karate-Monkey Death-Car?” or something to that effect. He wants to use the 200SX axle I've been hording for Super Karate-Monkey Death-Car in his Sunny Cup B-310. I told him that it the only things keeping Super Karate-Monkey Death-Car in the fray are that axle and the Z-20 looking for homes. If he were to “dibs” that axle, and we were to delegate the Z-20 as Rhonda’s engine, then Super Karate-Monkey Death-Car could be put up on the block for sale. This, of course, is the wisest course of action. Therefore we won't be doing that. No, I'm kidding. That is exactly what I think we need to do. I need another project like I need a hole in my head. So I've moved Super Karate-Monkey Death-Car to the “Dead to Me” section of my inventory along with Nadine. Upon recalculating my guesstimated horsepower and weight ratios, it turns out a Z-20 powered Spit’ would be my third quickest vehicle behind the Chickenhawk and Fiona. Here, I'll give y'all a chart sort of thing:

Chickenhawk: 155-160 horsepower, 1,500 pounds, 11.3 pounds per horsepower, (1)

Fiona: 310-315 horsepower, 3,500 pounds, 12.1 pounds per horsepower, (2)

Rhonda: 120-125 horsepower, 1,300 pounds, 12.9 pounds per horsepower, (3)

George: 120-125 horsepower, 1,500 pounds, 14.5 pounds per horsepower, (4)

The Seven: 90-95 horsepower, 1,150 pounds, 15.5 pounds per horsepower, (5)

Bozo: 85-90 horsepower, 1,200 pounds, 16.9 pounds per horsepower, (6)

Lil’ Wiggly: 105-110 horsepower, 1,600 pounds, 17.5 pounds per horsepower, (7)

Fifi: 200-205 horsepower, 4,000 pounds, 21.1 pounds per horsepower, (8)

Herman: 70-75 horsepower, 1,400 pounds, 23.2 pounds per horsepower, (9)

Bobbi: 20-25 horsepower, 300 pounds, 25.8 pounds per horsepower, (10)

As a recap, the Chickenhawk is a Datsun 1200 with a KA-24e, Fiona is a Hyundai Genesis Coupe, Rhonda is a 1964 Triumph Spitfire with a Nissan NAPS Z two liter, George is a Datsun 1200 with a turbocharged A-12, The Seven is a replica of a 1967 Lotus Seven with a “warmed over” Datsun A-15, Bozo is a Honda N-600 micro-car with a Goldwing motorcycle engine, Lil' Wiggly is a Datsun B-210 with a hot-rod A-14, Fifi is a Ford F-150, Herman is a relatively stock Datsun 1200, and Bobbi is a Honda XL-250 motorcycle. If you are doing the math right now, and it isn’t adding up, here’s the formula I used: X=(W+280)/Hp where X is the power to weight ratio we seek, W is the guesstimated weight given (plus 280 pounds for my ass), and Hp is the mean horsepower. So, for instance, to get the Chickenhawk's power to weight ratio above, I took the weight of 1,500 pounds and added 280 to get 1,780 pounds. I divided that by 157.5 (halfway between the highest and lowest guesstimated power figure, AKA the “mean”) horsepower and got 11.3015873 which rounds to 11.3 pounds per horsepower. Voila! Ok, with that out of the way, I can continue with my ruminations. So, looking at that chart, I noticed that if I were to sell Bobbi and consider Herman “dead to me,” Fifi would be the slowest vehicle in my fleet. Fifi is no slouch in the acceleration department. In fact, I used to think it was somewhat spritely. I guess that is what torque will do for you. I guess what I'm getting at is, I'm going to have a pretty quick bunch of cars when… ok, if I ever finish them. I think making Nadine, Super Karate-Monkey Death-Car, and Herman “dead to me,” as well as selling Bobbi, could whittle my fleet down to an almost reasonable quantity. Sure, eight vehicles is a totally retarded number, but… um… shut up. Your face is a retarded number. I don’t know. I just deleted a big section where I justified all of the vehicles. I've gone over THAT so many times in the past that I'm not going to do it again. Ok, maybe just the high points. The Chickenhawk was my first 1200, George I got for $5.00, I built The Seven for my fortieth birthday, I've always loved B-210 hatchbacks (Lil' Wiggly), N-600s are so tiny they’re cool (Bozo), I've always wanted a Spit’ (Rhonda), I need a tow vehicle (Fifi), and I need a modern and comfortable daily driver (Fiona). To justify Herman and Bobbi I guess I'd say: Herman has a title and Bobbi is just cool. And I guess that’s all I have for today.