4/3/12

Everything about that nuculer stress test was uncomfortable. First off, the dude couldn’t find a vein for the IV. When he did find one, he poked me with the needle but couldn’t get it to take. He moved on to the other arm. He couldn’t find a vein he liked there either and decided to try the first one again. No luck. The needle wouldn’t hold… or something. He finally gave up and poked the really nice vein in the middle of my right wrist. That one took and held. He shot in some saline and asked if it felt cold. It did not. He shot in some more and I felt it flowing that time. He shot in the radioactive stuff and then some more saline and had me move back to the waiting room. After about half an hour he took me into the camera room and had me lay on the table… with my damned arms above my head. I had to hold that position for about fifteen minutes. Of course once the pictures were done I couldn’t get up without help. I was sent back into the waiting room. Now, with an IV in my wrist, I couldn’t really sit comfortably. I had to basically hold my right hand in my left and sit there like a praying nun or something. After a while I was called into the treadmill room. The cutie hooked up the electrodes to me and took some baseline EKG and blood pressure readings. Then the little sadist had me get on the treadmill. She started it up and I walked. “We want your heart rate to get to 140,” she said, “then he’ll come back in and administer some more radioactive dye.” I watched the heart rate monitor go from 80 to 110 while walking. I thought it wasn’t likely to make it to 140, and then she turned up the speed. When the heart rate hit, and then passed, 140 she called for the tech. He came in and shot me up with more saline, radio stuff, and saline and I figured the treadmill would slow down. It did not. She kept me going for some time. When it did finally stop I was totally fagged. She had me sit while my blood pressure and heart rate came back down then removed all but three of the stick on EKG thingies. I put on my shirt and headed, shakily, back to the waiting room. Oh, she also removed the IV from my wrist but the tape wouldn’t stick. I had to hold pressure on the gauze until my sweat dried up. The tech took me from the waiting room back to the camera room and had me lay down again. I tried a different hold on my arms above my head thinking it would be more comfortable. It was not. I did manage to fall asleep in the machine though… I think. At some point I noticed that the camera hadn’t moved in a while. The tech came back in and reset one of the EKG stickies which had slipped and the test resumed. He must have heard me groan while moving my arms a bit and said, “Three more minutes.” Fuck! He passed through the room half an hour later and said, “Another minute and a half.” Six years later the thing stopped and he let me out. I turned in my paperwork, paid my $50.00 deductible and staggered out to the car. I was so shaky that I just sat there for a few minutes thinking, “Mom really should have driven me to this.” Eventually I headed home. “You ready for some lunch?” mom asked as I walked in. “No,” I said. “I’m going to lie down for a bit.” As soon as my head hit the pillow I was asleep. I only slept for about five minutes, but that was all I needed. I sat up and did some intergoogling then went to find mom for lunch. We went to Papadeaux’s. After that I hung out at home until time to run up to the office and get the phone and keys. I was still pretty wore out but I managed to walk up the 50 stairs to my office and meet the fill in dude right at 1655 h. We walked down together and I went back home. There I collapsed again and wasted the evening. I'm not sure if it was the radioactive shit the pumped me up with or the half hour of exercise on the treadmill, but I was totally sapped of every bit of energy. Needless to say, I went to bed and slept like a rock. Now I'm back at work talking to y'all. If I'd known that Friday was Good Friday when I filled out the form to take Monday off, I would have taken the whole week. Oh well, too late now. Ok, I might talk to y'all tomorrow and I might not. We’ll see.