4/30/14

I have to say, Toshiba laptops are tough little bastards!  Depending on whom you ask, I either have no patience for malfunctioning technology, or an anger issue.  Of course those who claim the latter CAN GO ROT THE FUCK IN HELL‼‼‼‼  Anyhoo, some month ago, something went awry with the laptop and the screen got a little broken.  This hasn’t been a problem since I bought a monitor for use at the house and acquired one here at work so I wouldn’t have to go buy a mother fucking Windows 8 laptop.  Juan may remember that when the screen got broken, I DID buy a W8 machine and had it for about three hours before returning it.  Windows 8 actually made me miss Windows Vista!  No, W8 made me miss Millennium Edition Windows!  That is how bad W8 sucks.  Ha, a few sentences back, Word wanted me to say “Windows 8 actually made me Miss Windows Vista” as if it were some sort of beauty contest!  “Here she is, Miss Windows Vista!”  But I digress.  The thing is, up until a few days ago, whenever I would hook the thing up to either the monitor at home, or here at work, it would recognize which monitor it was and automatically set the screen resolution.  Now… not so much.  It is fine going home because the monitor there has a higher resolution than the one at work and can use the signal going to it.  However, the one at work just sits there, like a fucking retard saying, “Duh, I can't figure out what you are trying to show on me.  Reset your resolution to 1600x900 or lower.  Duh.”  Of course without an internal monitor to do that reset, I'm fucked.  It finally got to me this morning and the screen got even more broken.  So broken in fact, that it doesn’t even reside on the laptop any more.  My laptop is now just a keyboard.  This was not an easy removal.  In fact, Juan could say it was quite violent.  After curving the screen with repeated blows of the fist, the whole unit was unceremoniously tossed into the trash can… then I yanked the battery.  I was about to go into the guts of the machine and basically destroy any and all internal components when I noticed one of the big screens on the “Dance Floor” was dark.  I decided I could vivisect the laptop after I'd done my actual job.  After changing the lamps in the offending projector, I picked up the ‘top from the trash can and had a look at what it was going to take to completely remove the screen.  After bashing some shit, and snapping off some other shit, and cutting off even more shit, and metal fatigue-ing off the last bit of shit, I now have a laptop consisting of just a keyboard, as I mentioned before.  I then decided to see if it still worked.  Of course it still had the home screen’s resolution so I had to connect it to the monitor from my work desktop.  Dell is really pissing me off, by the way, by not having a way to choose what mother fucking input you want to use.  I had to disconnect the mother fucking work computer, connect the laptop, and power cycle the mother fucking monitor to make it recognize the other input… and then do the reverse to get the other computer back on line after resetting the laptop’s resolution.  But the thing appears to be working, hence the “Toshiba laptops are tough little bastards!” remark up above.  Of course now I'm noticing that a few keys don’t work right.  The “B” and the “Back Space” keys don’t always respond to the first strike… or second, or third sometimes for the “BS” apparently.  But I'm muddling through.  So, what now?  I guess I could talk about the Chickenhawk again… but I don’t really want to, nor do I want to talk about Lil' Wiggly.  I guess I could talk about the Spit… or not.  Guns?  Naw, I think I'm just going to call it an rant and go… hell, play solitaire or something.  I don’t know.